Shared Wisdom - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Preparing to Meet ‘the Religious Other’

Before introducing yourself to ‘the religious other,’ a few simple answers to several persistent, fearful questions (which we won’t take time to repeat) might be helpful:

Interfaith relationships tend to be about friendship, cooperation, and collaboration around shared stories, values, and goals—not about creating a new religion or a lowest common religious denominator.
Healthy interfaith relationships are never about taking away your faith and practice. People who most actively pursue interfaith dialogue and cooperation, including leaders like Gandhi and the Dalai Lama, typically report that interfaith dialogue enriches rather than diminishes the faith they brought to the table. One’s own personal faith, far from being lost or diluted, is deepened by the experience.
Many religions seek to convert outsiders to their tradition, an attitude that deserves respect. Proselytizing is inappropriate, though, at interfaith events where developing friendship and mutual respect is the goal.
Very few in ‘the interfaith movement’ are relativists, people suggesting that, ‘after all, all religions are mostly the same anyway.’ On the other hand, interfaith activists do tend to believe that human beings have a variety of authentic ways to believe and practice and build a relationship with what Abrahamic religions call God, and ancient Hindu saints (not wanting to delimit divinity with their definitions) called ‘neither this, nor that.’

Most religions have a minority of followers who claim to own the ‘exclusive’ truth—and they are frequently opposed by those who see the goodness, beauty, and truth in different religious/spiritual approaches. The 2003 Gallup Religious Tolerance Index suggested that in this country, 17 percent believe they alone know what is true and are labeled isolated or exclusivist. By comparison, 46 percent are labeled tolerant, or “sort of’ inclusive. That leaves 37 percent who are called integrated or pluralistic, people who tend to be religiously involved as well as interested in others.
      These figures should allay the fears which most of us have harbored at some point, that “those folks over there are taking over everything.” Diversity reigns and is not going away, so we need creative ways to build relationship. The din between pluralists and exclusivists, for instance, can get nasty and judgmental, but it doesn’t need to be that way.
      Most if not all religions propound some version of the Golden Rule; the version in your tradition is your best starting point for preparing to meet the religious other. Quietly embodying love gives everyone a huge additional advantage. This applies equally to fundamentalists and progressives, old-timers and newcomers, friends and strangers.
      Whatever your own truth claims, whatever attitude —humble or assertive—you take towards your truth, interfaith dialogue is enhanced with a few ground rules:

Offer everyone the same respect and dignity you hope to receive.
Listen to the other person with enough care to begin to discern the “positive core,” the life-giving energy, in his or her faith.
Speak from the heart, not to make a point but to build understanding and relationship.
Remember that many traditions stay away from alcohol and meat; and many worship on a day other than Sunday, making time sensitivity important when planning shared activities.

The issue of sharing ritual and worship evokes some additional protocol:

When praying, leading meditation, or otherwise contributing to interfaith worship, speak in your own language and idiom, just as others will when they come to the podium.
When sharing spiritual practices, offer those attending three options—to actually participate if and when appropriate, to simply observe, or to leave and take some time out. Shared practice should never be coerced.

These guidelines reduce potential missteps. For several decades the World Council of Churches has worked on more elaborate interfaith guidelines, and in recent years a number of denominations and nonprofits have developed their own. All are good tools for learning to treat each other well.
Similarly, the art of graceful hosting, music and the arts, and good food almost always improve relationship building. Sacred space can be fully enjoyed by interfaith groups when all present feel respected, safe, and comfortable enough to participate. Providing one another hospitality in such a setting is a small but tangible step toward creating a world of sustained peace.

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FOR REFLECTION OR DISCUSSION

Did (or do) you have any fears or apprehensions about meeting the “religious other”?
What positive feelings do you bring to the opportunity of meeting “the religious other”? What are your hopes for the meeting? What do you want to learn?
Do the “ground rules” at the bottom of page 5 help to resolve any apprehension you may have had? In what way?
Is there anything about the “ground rules” with which you would have difficulty complying? Do you think anything else should be added to the “ground rules”?
Would you be open to sharing ritual and worship with the “religious other”? What interests or attracts about this? Do you have any reservations? If yes, what would have to change for you to be comfortable?
Do you have any experience with shared ritual and worship? How did you find these experiences? What was challenging? What was positive? How did you grow in your understanding of the “religious other” as a result of these experiences?

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